hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
