This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
