Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
