i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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