so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
