If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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