halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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