in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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