this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
