This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
