After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
