Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Couch. On fire.
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