I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
