I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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