I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
