So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
