We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm like, not good at living.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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