i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
this will be a night to untag.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
