Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize