you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
