Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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