yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
