She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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