I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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