sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
