oh god the rape fog is back!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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