6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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