no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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