Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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