It's Friday. Sex?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm too high and old for this...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
