So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
How does one acquire holy water?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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