first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
