I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
