That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
