YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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