I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
