I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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