I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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