I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
