Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
