I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just had sex bonerless
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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