did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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