I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
