i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
