it wasn't lemon gatorade
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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