I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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