and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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