i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize