I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
