Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
