I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
