I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
