you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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