i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
