You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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