dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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