Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
