Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
