my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
